Tips To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage/Relationship
Dear Friends & Neighbors,

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During recent years, we’ve seen quite a few of our friends ended up in divorce court. Modern day marriage or relationship is not easy. Couples are facing challenges of dealing with jobs, raising children, financing life, dealing with health problems, and facing societal changes and expectations, without the support of extended families in most cases. It is tough on both men and women. So, any one who wants a rock solid marriage (or relationship) for the long haul would need to gather wisdom and advice from those who have overcome these obstacles. After surfing through the web in gathering wisdom/tips, hubby and I can attest to many of the pointers below having worked in our 35 years of marital life together.
- Say “I love you” to one another every day
- Give each other a hug and/or kiss every day
- Make a written and recorded commitment that divorce is not an option
- Always try to remember what drew the two of you together in the first place
- Do not withhold sex unless it is a mutual consent or special circumstances
- At least one date night per week and make it special
- Become each other’s best friend
- Do not let any one else become involved with your marital affairs, including parents, in-laws, and friends
- Put your children first, then your marriage, then your extended family, then others, in that order
- Set boundaries and let each other know what you can and cannot do
- Be free from pride and ego. Do not try to have the last words in an argument. The winner of the argument is often the loser
- Learn to let go and avoid “tit for tat”
- Never go to bed angry. Resolve issues quickly
- Be surrounded by other happily married/together couples, so it will remind you what’s good about relationships
- Live a healthy lifestyle
- Avoid keeping any bank accounts hidden from one another
- Don’t lie to each other
- Do not entertain any relationship with ex-spouses or ex-boyfriends/girlfriends from the past. If children are involved, the relationship should be limited to them
- Invest in your marriage-spend some serious time together either in the form of retreat or vacation once or twice per year
- Remember your promise to your spouse at the alter-for better or worse, in sickness and in health
- Be ready to make many sacrifices and/or many compromises
- Listen to one another
- Try to solve problems or issues when you’re both calm
- Instead of trying to be right, always look for the solution that would optimize both perspectives and bring peace
- Avoid sarcasm because it never leads to peace or solution
- Be ready to apologize if you have contributed to the problem and be ready to forgive when the situation arises
- Fight for your marriage
- Be appreciative of the fact that you need each other’s love and support
- Be surrounded by people who will encourage and uplift you both
- Help each other with household chores
- Encourage and praise/compliment each other
- Compliment each other’s strengths and weaknesses
- Support each other’s goals and dreams, regardless which seems more ambitious
- Consult one another when making any big decisions
- Grass is greener where you water it
- Don’t compare your marriage to some one else’s because you don’t know what is going on behind the scene
- Deal with issues in private and avoid embarrassing your spouse/partner in public
- Do not verbally or physically abuse your spouse/partner
- Avoid bringing up past arguments just to win a current one
- You need to be each other’s rock: your spouse/partner need to realize that you can be trusted and feel secure around you
- Gather information on how to become better spouse/partner
- We all have different ways of expressing our affections, so learn the signs with which your spouse/partner expresses his/her love
- Avoid letting your children seeing you arguing
- Surprise your spouse/partner with gifts even when it is not for birthdays, holidays, or anniversary
- Don’t always try to get your way or have the last words, but try to find the optimal solution for you both
- It is healthy to spend some of your time with friends, as long as your friends respect your marriage and commitment you took…..
- Never cheat
- Stay fit and healthy for yourself as well as for your spouse/partner
- Always listen to each other and avoid keeping each other in the dark about things
- Never badmouth your spouse/partner to any one else.
- Keep your love life private
- Do not allow your single girlfriends or guy friends to do anything to compromise your marriage
- Be open to new things and help your spouse/partner to open to new things that would be healthy for him/her
- Communicate directly and avoid expecting him/her to read your mind
- Say what you mean and mean what you say
- Love, respect, loyalty, and faithfulness should all be given to one another
- Do not feel compelled to compete with one another but to cooperate and collaborate with one another as best friends
- Do not look upon marriage as an obligation but as a chance to evolve into a being who is able to love another unconditionally
- You cannot change your spouse, but you can change how you love him/her and how you react to him/her
- The objective should be: Your spouse/partner would become a better person as a result of being with you, not via control but via love
- Focus on each other’s strengths rather than weaknesses
- Work as a team
- Ask your spouse/partner if there are any unmet needs
- Take showers/baths together from time to time
- Make each other laugh and find/notice simple pleasures of life
- Leave each other love notes around the house/apartment from time to time by surprise
- Look into each other’s eyes for at least 30 seconds each day
- Touch each other’s face and give thanks to each other for the good and bad times together
Now, for some tips from these professionals in relationship, below:
Hope these tips helped. My best to you and yours.
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